How to Set Healthy Boundaries
Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Sadly, many people find themselves in romantic and otherwise relationships with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to meet their needs regardless of the other person’s. These people most likely grew up in unsafe and unstable households where personal boundaries were constantly invaded.
If you can relate, chances are you have difficulty creating healthy boundaries to create the life experience you wish to have. However, here are some ways you can begin to do so:
Identify Your Limits
You can only set boundaries if you discover where you stand. You’ll need time to recognize what you can and cannot tolerate. What makes you happy, and what makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed? You can only move on to the next steps after completing these discoveries.
Don’t Be Shy
People who have similar communication styles are easy to engage with. These people will quickly understand what your new barriers are. But people with different cultural backgrounds or personalities may need to help understand your boundaries. With these people, it’s essential to be very clear and direct.
Pay Attention to Your Feelings
People who have difficulty setting boundaries don’t often allow themselves to acknowledge their feelings because they’re usually too busy worrying about everyone else’s.
You’ll need to start recognizing how people make you feel to know whether your new boundaries are being crossed. When you’re with someone, make mental notes or journal how that interaction made you feel.
If you feel anger or resentment after spending time with someone, this is a sign that the person may be overstepping your boundaries. Reiterate to this person what your limits are. If they continue to disrespect you, cutting yourself away from further interactions may be necessary.
Make Self-Care a Priority
Put yourself and your needs first. It may feel strange and even wrong if you’ve spent your entire life caring for others. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and get what you need to feel happy and well.
Speak with Someone
You may find setting boundaries tricky if you’ve spent an entire life with low self-worth. In this case, it’s essential to speak with a therapist that can help you discover where these feelings are coming from and how to change your thought patterns and behavior.
If you’d like to explore therapy, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to help you on your journey toward self-care.
