Author: Sonseray Luster

Can EMDR Therapy be Done Online?

When the pandemic hit, many people began to work with their therapists online. However, many skeptics did not believe the benefits of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, also known as EMDR therapy, which is traditionally a hands-on therapy, could translate to online platforms. But as the pandemic unfolded and more and more therapists began using EMDR therapy online, it became clear that this protocol was just as effective used virtually as it was in person.

While anecdotal evidence has its place (and there is plenty of anecdotal evidence for online EMDR therapy), scientific research is now emerging that proves the effectiveness of EMDR therapy practiced online. This article cites one such study from 2021.

How is EMDR Therapy Conducted Online?

If you know anything about EMDR, you know that it requires bilateral stimulation. Generally, an EMDR therapist would facilitate the movement of their client’s eyes by moving their finger from left to right in front of the client’s face. However, this is not the only means to achieve bilateral stimulation. The client can be led to tap their shoulders or knees in a rhythmic sequence.

Thanks to platforms like Zoom, a therapist and her client can conduct face-to-face sessions, and bilateral stimulation can still be easily achieved.

Do You Need Help Overcoming Trauma?

EMDR is a highly effective tool for helping individuals heal from trauma. EMDR can also successfully treat anxiety, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, phobias, and more.

Though the pandemic is over, many of my clients choose to continue our EMDR sessions online. They find doing this work from the comfort of their own home helps them feel safe. Online sessions are always secure and confidential.

If you have any questions or would like to schedule your first session, please give my office a call.

SOURCES:
https://www.emdria.org/research/online-emdr-therapy-recent-research-and-overview/
https://www.bythewellcounseling.com/can-you-do-emdr-therapy-online/
https://emdrhealing.com/online-emdr/

Silence Your Inner Critic

Silence Your Inner Critic

Every human being has two voices battling it out inside their head. Our champion is the one voice encouraging us to feel confident and reach our fullest potential.

Then there’s that other voice—the one that is critical of every move we make, the one that looks at all of our perceived flaws under a microscope and calls them out with a thunderous voice, the one who tells us we can’t do anything right and we’ll never amount to anything.

Now, which voice is doing the most talking in your life? If you’re like most people, your inner critic is running the show. Ever wish you could tell it just to shut up?

Here are some powerful ways you can silence your inner critic once and for all:

Be More Mindful

To silence your inner critic, you must first become aware of it. You cannot change what you are not aware of. And this is where mindful meditation comes in.

When we practice being mindful, we tune into the here and now and become FULLY aware of the present. The more you practice mindfulness, the more aware you will be when that negative voice inside you begins to speak.

In addition, mindfulness teaches us that we are not our thoughts; we are the observer of them. Soon, you will choose which thoughts to focus on more carefully. This is a powerful shift that can change your life!

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

In a world where 24/7 social media would have us believe that everyone else is more intelligent, thinner, prosperous, and generally better than we are, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others. But doing so only gives your inner critic weapons to use against you.

Practice Self-Compassion

You would never treat others the way you treat yourself. Begin to treat yourself with the compassion you would a small child or a wounded kitten you find. No one is perfect. But all of us are worthy of love, kindness, and respect. We must begin to show ourselves more love, compassion, and respect, and we can do that by practicing self-compassion.

Hopefully, these tips will help you silence that inner critic once and for all. If you’d like more help building your confidence and self-esteem, please get in touch with me. I work with people to empower them so they can build the life they dream about.

SOURCES:

https://www.omaritani.com/blog/how-to-silence-your-inner-critic
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201903/silencing-your-inner-critic
https://themindsjournal.com/how-silence-your-inner-critic/

Do you need help balancing work and personal life?

Managing Work-Life Balance

Do you need help balancing work and your personal life? If so, you’re not alone. According to Mental Health America (MHA), almost 40% of U.S. adults employed full-time reported working 50+ hours a week, and 18% work 60+ hours.

Despite how common it is for people to work long hours, having a healthy work-life balance is critical. Working too many hours—especially if it bleeds into your evenings, weekends, and holidays—can cause you to:

Feel stressed and burnt out.
Strain your relationships with your loved ones.
Neglect your hobbies and self-care activities.

All of this, in turn, can negatively impact your physical, mental, emotional, and social health.

How to Achieve a Healthy Work-Life Balance

Creating a healthy work-life balance can sometimes be difficult, but it’s doable. Here are some steps you can take to balance work and your personal life:

Manage your time. Various time management techniques—such as Pomodoro timers—can help increase your productivity, meaning that you’ll get more work accomplished in a shorter amount of time.
Multitask. If your job allows it, try to get some work done while simultaneously engaging in a self-care activity. For example, you could listen to a seminar while you go on a walk or do some laundry.
Set boundaries. Decide what times you’ll start and stop work each day and stick to that schedule as best as possible. Also, be sure to set aside time for vacation days even if you’re not planning an out-of-town trip.

Get Help Balancing Your Work & Personal Life

Work-life balance plays a crucial role in our overall health and happiness, so if you’re struggling in this area, I invite you to contact us and schedule a therapy session. I look forward to helping you take the steps needed to balance work and your personal life.

How to Regulate Your Emotions with Mindfulness

Life has been beyond challenging for most of us the last couple of years as we’ve dealt with a global pandemic and subsequent lockdowns. And just when we thought we were all out of the woods and life was back to normal, we now face sky-high inflation and a recession. These events can trigger intense emotions in us.

We never want to deny our emotions entirely. Feeling them is how we process the events of our lives. But there comes the point where we need to figure out how to move through the emotions and safely get to the other side. One of the most effective ways to do this is through mindfulness.

What is Mindfulness & How Can It Help?

Mindfulness is a simple, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. It is a powerful way to connect with our bodies and emotions but in a higher state of awareness.

Mindfulness helps us regulate our emotions by putting us in a calm and relaxed state of presence. From here, we can have a more mature and sensible point of view of the events in our lives.

Second, mindfulness can help us develop skills that promote emotional maturity and self-regulation when practiced regularly. These skills include self-awareness and attentional control.

And finally, mindfulness can increase the time between trigger and response. In this way, mindfulness acts like an advanced warning system, alerting us to a potentially ugly scene and giving us time to engage in emotional self-monitoring. This allows us to choose our emotional response very, very carefully.

Getting Started with Mindfulness

There are many online resources for getting started with a mindfulness meditation practice. Spend time searching Google and exploring Youtube for helpful sites and videos.

If you want to work privately with someone to regulate your emotions, please get in touch with me. I use mindfulness in my practice with clients and would happily answer any questions you may have.

Sources:

4 Subtle Signs of Trauma: When You’re Dealing with More Than You Think

When you think about someone experiencing trauma, incidents such as a violent or sexual assault or a terrible car accident might come to mind. But other, subtler forms of trauma can negatively affect our lives and hinder our relationships.

Emotional trauma is often overlooked and minimized, and we may think we’ve “gotten over” some emotional pain that we’ve simply buried and not dealt with. Yet, a break-up, being passed over for a promotion at work, or even a simple but negative childhood experience can cause emotional trauma. Read on to see if you recognize any of these four subtle signs of trauma in yourself.

Overwhelm

Anxiety and stress may develop in the aftermath of trauma, causing you to feel overwhelmed in numerous ways. For example, you might feel out of control, like there is too much to do, or that people in your life are taking up too much of your time and attention. In addition, if you often feel your life has become unmanageable, this could be a sign that you have some unresolved emotional trauma.

Overreacting

Emotional overreactions are a common symptom of trauma. A victim of trauma might redirect their overwhelming emotions towards others, such as family and friends. Because these undealt emotions are always bubbling under the surface, any incident that brings feelings forward can unleash these pent-up emotions. If you can recall times when you’ve overreacted and perhaps have even been surprised at your reactions, this may be a sign of trauma.

Shame

It’s not uncommon for people suffering from emotional trauma to have feelings of shame and self-blame. If you have feelings of guilt because of a traumatic event, you may devalue yourself or see yourself as weak. You might feel a stigma from what you endured, and this may prevent you from admitting that you may be traumatized or prevent you from seeking help.

Daydreaming

Another subtle sign of trauma is “zoning” or “spacing out.” You might feel disconnected from others or have difficulty staying present in social situations. Emotional trauma can cause you to slow down internally, numbing your emotions or causing you to feel exhausted. Because of the trauma you experienced, you may be opposed to expressing painful feelings, so you turn those emotions off. As you withdraw, your relationships with others suffer, causing you further psychological pain.

If these signs seem familiar and you believe you may be suffering from trauma, help is available. A caring, licensed professional trained in trauma treatment can help. So, take the first step by calling me today, and let’s set up a time to talk.

How To Set Healthy Boundaries

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Sadly, many people find themselves in romantic and otherwise relationships with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to meet their needs regardless of the other person’s. These people most likely grew up in unsafe and unstable households where personal boundaries were constantly invaded.

If you can relate, chances are you have difficulty creating healthy boundaries to create the life experience you wish to have. However, here are some ways you can begin to do so:

Identify Your Limits

You can only set boundaries if you discover where you stand. You’ll need time to recognize what you can and cannot tolerate. What makes you happy, and what makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed? You can only move on to the next steps after completing these discoveries.

Don’t Be Shy

People who have similar communication styles are easy to engage with. These people will quickly understand what your new barriers are. But people with different cultural backgrounds or personalities may need to help understand your boundaries. With these people, it’s essential to be very clear and direct.

Pay Attention to Your Feelings

People who have difficulty setting boundaries don’t often allow themselves to acknowledge their feelings because they’re usually too busy worrying about everyone else’s.

You’ll need to start recognizing how people make you feel to know whether your new boundaries are being crossed. When you’re with someone, make mental notes or journal how that interaction made you feel.

If you feel anger or resentment after spending time with someone, this is a sign that the person may be overstepping your boundaries. Reiterate to this person what your limits are. If they continue to disrespect you, cutting yourself away from further interactions may be necessary.

Make Self-Care a Priority

Put yourself and your needs first. It may feel strange and even wrong if you’ve spent your entire life caring for others. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and get what you need to feel happy and well.

Speak with Someone

You may find setting boundaries tricky if you’ve spent an entire life with low self-worth. In this case, it’s essential to speak with a therapist that can help you discover where these feelings are coming from and how to change your thought patterns and behavior.

If you’d like to explore therapy, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to help you on your journey toward self-care.

How Counseling Can Help With Big Life Changes

They say there are only two things in life you can count on: death and taxes. I would add a third: changes. Every person goes through changes in life. And some of those changes can be significant.

Whether you are graduating, starting a new job, moving to a new city, or ending a relationship, you may find dealing with change to be stressful. But there is good news. Counseling can absolutely help you navigate these big life changes so you can make the absolute best decision for you.

Here are some ways counseling can help with big life changes:

Managing Expectations

There’s the change itself, and then there’s what we expect life to be during and after the change. Often we can feel stress when reality does not align with our expectations of reality. Counseling can help you manage your expectations so that the transition is peaceful and realistic.

A Positive Framework

Change means one door closes as another one opens. But many people put all of their focus and attention on that closing door. Focusing on an ending can make us feel depressed and anxious.

A counselor can help you focus on the new opportunities ahead of you. This can improve your state of mind, which will ultimately help you make the most of the current situation.

Self-Care

For many of us, change means burning the candle at both ends and not taking care of ourselves. Counseling can remind us (as many times as needed) that we need to make our physical and mental health a priority during this transition.

Now that you see some of the ways counseling can help you through the biggest changes in your life, it’s time to find a counselor who can help you find insight and fresh perspective. If you’d like to explore counseling further, please reach out to me. I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you may have.

SOURCES:

https://onlinedegrees.bradley.edu/blog/six-ways-counselors-can-help-clients-dealing-with-major-change/

http://creativeresolutionsinc.com/2021/07/20/how-counseling-can-help-you-through-life-changes/

Adjusting to Big Life Changes (bestdaypsych.com)